President's "Manure"
Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the Washington Garden Club and kept referring to 'good manure' that must be used on flowers.
Some society ladies complained (later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman,
"Bess, can't you get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?"
The First Lady replied, "Heavens, it took me 25 years to get him to say 'manure'."
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El presidente Estiercol
Harry Truman, cuando era presidente de EEUU hablo frente al Club de Jardines de Washington DC y repitio mucho acerca del " buen estiercol" que se debe usar en las flores.
Algunas damas de sociedad, se quejaron ( mas tarde ) con la primera dama Margaret Truman.
" Bess, podrias conseguir que el presidente diga fertilizante en vez de estiercol?
Y la primera dama respondio " Y lo que me costo, casi 25 años para que dijera "estiercol"
Monday, November 29, 2010
LATE FOR WORK--TARDE A TRABAJAR
Late for Work
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot.
He had never missed a day and was never late.
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation.
All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.
He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him,
"I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway.
Nearly killed myself."
The boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?"
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Tarde a trabajar
Por 30 años, Parras habia llegado puntualmente a las 9 de la mañana.
Nunca falto un dia y nunca llego tarde.
Consequentemente cuando una mañana no aparecio a la hora habitual, causo conmocion en la oficina.
El jefe mirando el reloj se paseaba por el corredor esperandolo.
Al fin a las 10 de la mañana aparecio Parras , cojeando, con un ojo morado, todo masgullado y los anteojos quebrados.
Me cai dos escaleras en el metro, anuncio a su jefe.
Y el jefe le respondio
" Y te demoraste una hora en caerte de las escaleras"
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot.
He had never missed a day and was never late.
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation.
All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.
He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him,
"I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway.
Nearly killed myself."
The boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?"
---------------------------
Tarde a trabajar
Por 30 años, Parras habia llegado puntualmente a las 9 de la mañana.
Nunca falto un dia y nunca llego tarde.
Consequentemente cuando una mañana no aparecio a la hora habitual, causo conmocion en la oficina.
El jefe mirando el reloj se paseaba por el corredor esperandolo.
Al fin a las 10 de la mañana aparecio Parras , cojeando, con un ojo morado, todo masgullado y los anteojos quebrados.
Me cai dos escaleras en el metro, anuncio a su jefe.
Y el jefe le respondio
" Y te demoraste una hora en caerte de las escaleras"
HEADACHE CURE- CURA PARA DOLOR DE CABEZA
Headache cure
When my physician said that my headaches were caused by tension in my neck and shoulders, I looked around for a product that would relax those muscles.
The perfect solution seemed to be a neck wrap that was designed to be cooled in the freezer or heated in the microwave.
Luckily for me, the product had clear and concise instructions, including the following:
"Warning--do not microwave while on body."
--------------------------------
Cura para el dolor de cabeza
Cuando mi doctor dijo que mis dolores de cabeza eran causados por tension en mi cuello y hombros, yo busque un producto que pudiera relajar esos musculos.
La solucion perfecta parecia ser una envoltura de cuello, que estaba diseñada para enfriarse en el refrigerador y calentarse en el microndas.
Por suerte venia con claras direcciones, incluyendo esta[
" Atencion--- no lo meta al microndas mientras lo tenga puesto.
When my physician said that my headaches were caused by tension in my neck and shoulders, I looked around for a product that would relax those muscles.
The perfect solution seemed to be a neck wrap that was designed to be cooled in the freezer or heated in the microwave.
Luckily for me, the product had clear and concise instructions, including the following:
"Warning--do not microwave while on body."
--------------------------------
Cura para el dolor de cabeza
Cuando mi doctor dijo que mis dolores de cabeza eran causados por tension en mi cuello y hombros, yo busque un producto que pudiera relajar esos musculos.
La solucion perfecta parecia ser una envoltura de cuello, que estaba diseñada para enfriarse en el refrigerador y calentarse en el microndas.
Por suerte venia con claras direcciones, incluyendo esta[
" Atencion--- no lo meta al microndas mientras lo tenga puesto.
PAYING FOR FOOD-PAGANDO POR LA COMIDA
Pay for the Food
There was a poor old Irish cobbler whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Mike, the Irish gent, would go out the back of his shop and eat his soda bread and maybe a kipper or piece of Irish blue cheese while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.
One morning, the Irishman was surprised to receive an invoice in the mail from the adjoining restaurant for "enjoyment of food" Mystified, he marched right over to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought a thing from them.
The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
The Irishman refused to pay and the restaurant took him to court.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it.
" The judge turned to Mike and said, "What do you have to say to that?"
The old Irishman didn't say a thing but smiled and stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"
The Irishman replied with a mile wide grin, -
"I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
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Pagando por la Comida
There was a poor old Irish cobbler whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Mike, the Irish gent, would go out the back of his shop and eat his soda bread and maybe a kipper or piece of Irish blue cheese while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.
One morning, the Irishman was surprised to receive an invoice in the mail from the adjoining restaurant for "enjoyment of food" Mystified, he marched right over to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought a thing from them.
The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
The Irishman refused to pay and the restaurant took him to court.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it.
" The judge turned to Mike and said, "What do you have to say to that?"
The old Irishman didn't say a thing but smiled and stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"
The Irishman replied with a mile wide grin, -
"I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Pagando por la Comida
Habia un pobre viejo zapatero Irlandés, cuya tienda estaba al lado de un restorante Francés muy elegante. Todos los dias a la hora de almuerzo, el Irlandes iba por la parte trasera de su tienda y comia pan y tal vez un trozo de queso azul, mientras olia los olores maravillosos procedentes de la cocina del restaurante.
Una mañana, el Irlandés se sorprendió al recibir una factura en el correo desde el restaurante del lado con el titulo "disfrute de la comida"
Sin entender, marchó a el restaurante para señalar que él no había comprado algo de ellos.
El gerente dijo, "Usted está disfrutando de nuestra comida, por lo que debería pagar por ello."
El irlandés se negó a pagar y el restaurante le llevó a la corte.
En la audiencia, el juez le pidió al restaurante que presentara su versión del caso.
El gerente dijo: "Todos los días, este hombre va y se sienta fauera de nuestra cocina y huele nuestros olores mientras come la comida de él.
Está claro que estamos proporcionando y añadiendo valor a su mala alimentación y merecemos ser compensados por ello.
"El juez se volvió a Mike y le dijo:" ¿Qué tienes que decir a eso? "
El viejo irlandés no dijo ni una cosa, pero sonrió, metió la mano en el bolsillo y sacudió las pocas monedas que había dentro.
El juez le preguntó: "¿Cuál es el significado de eso?"
El irlandés respondió con una amplia sonrisa, y dijo:
"Estoy pagando por el olor de su comida con el sonido de mi dinero."
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